Bearing My Cross

It's been almost a year since I started this blog and God has truly blessed my children and me. I've also learned a lot about myself, God and the world around me. Last year I was being broken because of a failed relationship that prior to its failure I was sure would lead to marriage. That didn't happen but what did happen was the crucifixion of my flesh to where I truly understood above all things that nothing matters more than the sovereign will of God. I wrote about the brokenness last year but still had no clue just how awesome God would move on my behalf and that of my children.

We left the midwest for what I believe to be the last time. Sure we'll be back to visit but I know in my spirit that we will not be back there to live. I've learn to pray more fervently for the needs and the salvation of others as well as to sometimes just sit and meditate on the presence of the Lord. This move was one of the most difficult things I've had to do but Abba has always made a way. I realize more than ever that salvation and sanctification are a process and by no means something that just happens immediately because you repeated a prayer at the altar at church. I'm seeing the world with new eyes and hopefully becoming the kind of mother that my children need and deserve. This journey to recapture an intimate knowledge and relationship with God has not perfected me but set me on the path to being perfected in Christ, the culmination of which will not occur until I exit this life.  I am still being broken but it's okay because it makes me desperate for the presence of The Most High. I crave and long for His presence like I never have before.  

Would I still like to get married one day? Sure! But I have also come to a point of accepting whatever is God's will for my life. Christ is my reality. I am dead (dying) to this world and this earthsuit so that I may be known of Him and know Him in a way that draws the people around me to Him. I have been on this journey for sometime and I have reached a point of acquiescence and surrender to Him. Whatever my HaShem, El Elyon, El Shaddai, Abba wants, whatever it pleases Him to do with my life, for this life that I live is not my own, is fine with me. When I was younger I use to hear people say "that if He never does another thing for me, He's already done enough", it sounded silly to me but now I understand. Comprehension of some things only occurs with maturity. I will gracefully in the name of Jesus bear my cross and right now that cross includes being the single mother of two beautiful and intelligent children, running a business, working outside of the home and being a blessing in every way that I can to others.

My life is nothing of what I imagined it would be twenty years or so ago and I have been guilty of beating myself up for making some of the decisions that led me here but then I also realize that God has never failed or forsaken me. I've really been world weary lately. When I see how increasingly godless and twisted the world is becoming, the more that I am sure, absolutely sure that nothing is worth me forfeiting salvation. My desire is to cling to God like never before. Pray for me, my kids and all that God is given me stewardship that He may glorified above all! My ultimate goal is to have my entire life and every aspect of it be an act of worship to the Lord. The joy of the Lord is my strength and I hope it is yours as well!

Mocha Brown aka Koretta L. Allen is available for public speaking engagements especially pertaining to subjects of single parenthood, being single, women's empowerment through the word of God and much more. Mochababybrown@gmail.com

The Point & Purpose of Life

LOL! This is such a common musing of anybody who has ever wondered, "What in the world am I doing, here?" I fail to believe that there has ever been a person alive with the exception of Jesus, who didn't wonder why they were here on the planet earth? On this somber day in July when a man who has been hailed as an icon is being laid to rest, this is probably a question being asked in the minds of many people, "What is my purpose in life?"

Well, if no one ever told you, your primary person for even being created was to praise, worship and have intimate fellowship with God. Not religion, but an actual living relationship with The Most High God, Himself. Religion is nothing more than a poor attempt at a relationship with God while trying to at the same time excuse one's self from the responsibility of getting close to Him by implementing rituals and legalistic principles in an attempt to appease or please God. Know this, if you know nothing else in life, YOU can not PLEASE God! The Word of God says that our "righteousness is as filthy rags". Meaning that even at our most righteous by carnal standards, it is still not high enough or righteous enough in terms of God's standards. His ways are higher than our ways & His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. He sent His Son, Jesus to be the conduit by which we could have an intimate relationship and communion with Him. That's why I Corinthians 2:9-12 & 16 are basically stating that because of the sacrifice of Christ we have been given access to the mind and the Spirit of the True & Living God and this access gives us insight into the mind of Christ so that we may know and understand as much as is possible from the standpoint of these "jars of clay" God's plan & purpose for our lives.

Secondly, your purpose is to become a better person than you were the day before; the week before; the year before or even a decade ago! As you introspectively evaluate your life you must make clear, cut, & concise choices, decisions that will help you to become the better person that you need to be in order to thrive and live a fulfilled life. You should be taking an inventory of who you are and what your goals are so that you are not allowing life to just happen to you. You want to love who you are today with the realization that you have not arrived (none of us have!) and that there is work to be done. Life is a journey and a series of processes! It requires the work of trust of (get this!) trusting God! Not leaning on your own carnal knowledge and understanding. It's not easy but nothing worth having is and as simple as it sounds self-evaluation is never easy, not when you are truthfully and honestly evaluating yourself and trusting God doesn't come easy either. But resign yourself to the concept of God as some nebulous, impersonal spirit who is unattainable and/or inaccessible. You were created to be the temple of the Holy Spirit! It is all about God in you to help you utilize and more effectively become a reflection of who God is in the earth. When you allow yourself through Christ to define who you are, in other words when you discover your identity in Christ you will understand your individual purpose in this world and better adapt to your collective position as a worshiper.

Ultimately, the goal is to love God and in loving God you will love yourself and your fellow man as you should and that will in turn cause you to go beyond just living but actually thriving and flourishing!

Be abundantly blessed!