Sexiness vs. Holiness Part I

Lately I've been very skiddish about what I watch and what I allow my children to watch on television. I am a child of the '70's so I grew up watching Little House on the Prairie every Monday night. When I watch reruns of that show now and get a glimpse of what women were like from that time period and read my Bible and get a glimpse of what women were like during biblical times, I see that women were able to define what a godly and virtuous woman was from a carnal or more (ummm hmmm...) shall I say, worldly woman. These days with the onslaught of lingerie commercials, fragrance commercials with scantily clad celebrities in enticing and suggestive positions, to television shows and motion pictures that show parts of a woman's body that only her husband should see, not to mention the epidemic of porn addiction (print, video, and internet), some female Believers have been deceived into thinking that they have to compete somehow or join in with these images while male Believers are having their masculinity and sexuality challenged if they are not attracted to these unrealistic and fallacious standards of beauty. So the question is, what is more important for Believers? Being sexy or being holy?

Loose women have always been apart of every culture and every society and every socio-economic level. Prostitution has not been deemed "the world's oldest profession" for nothing! But with the current climate of pseudo-Christian, "carnal" Christian, celebrity worship, etc. Christian women are defining themselves by the sexual standards, both in terms of image and conduct, of movie starlets, songstresses (particularly secular), supermodels and even porn stars. Women who identify themselves as Believers, especially single female Believers, are allowing the carnal influence of celebrities, etc. to define who they are, how they should look and how they behave. What exactly are you saying when you sing, "If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it..." A ring on what? Are we perpetuating the fallacy of fornication to get a husband? This entire climate of people thinking that to be virtuous, holy and practical is to be "so heavenly minded that you are no earthly good" has created a fallacious environment based on worldly illusions that will ultimately end with a lot of female Believers going to hell because they feel the need to compete with or emulate and even imitate the likes of Beyonce, Angelina Jolie, or some random Victoria's Secret model or random porn star! Would you believe women, supposedly, Believers are busting up in the church revealing just a little too much leg and thigh, too much cleavage, made-up in the image of Nicki Minaj or some porn starlet, wearing thongs and then wearing clothes that tell the world that they are wearing a thong! It's chuckle-worthy on one hand but on the other it's ever so sad! Funny and yet so sad, because it's obvious that these women are trying too hard, so hard in fact that they have allowed society or the warped perception of pseudo-Christian men who seem attracted to such garbage, to influence them away from modesty, holiness (that's right, I said it!) and humility. Don't get me wrong, I, too like to get glammed up from time to time but (please understand that this is what makes the difference between a true Christian and a pseudo-Christian is that...) the Holy Spirit convicts me and shows me when my dress and skirt are too short, pants are too tight or when my top is just a little too low or when my make up and hair has the potential to give an incorrect general representation of who I am and who God has called me to be. Please trust me when I tell you that I dare not defy the conviction of the Holy Spirit as I have been there and done that with regard to other matters and it did not bode well for me to say the least! Women who pander and who clamor to emulate these contrived and artificial, Hollywood-produced images are attracting the wrong kind of man and they are doing so at the expense of their own souls. And silly men, who call themselves Believers put themselves in the precarious and horrible position of being ensnared by the wrong woman just because she had a certain look. (More on this in the another entry.)

I attended and was the member of a very large, mega-church and there were quite a few women there who were humble and modest in their dress and then there were others who looked as if they were leaving the church to shoot porn! Bloated lips, tight clothes, too much make-up, talon nails, "the works"! I attended another church and saw young females revealing thongs under low cut jeans. I've attended many church functions where women's bosoms were "spilling" out of their blouses and they couldn't cross their legs or bend over without flashing the person standing behind them in the offering line or sitting beside them in the pew. Now, in defense of some of these women, especially those whose weight fluctuates or who were just recently saved, perhaps they didn't have anything more modest to wear when they attended the services where I saw them dressed provocatively but some of these faux pas' are easily remedied with a safety pin or sweater.  

Before you allow yourself to be taken in by the diabolical influence of Hollywood, please do your research and understand that the far reaching influence of celebrities and society's climate of celebrity worship are subversive to our identity and reality in Christ. Women who aren't Believers shouldn't allow themselves to be influenced by such nonsense, how much more should Believers refrain from allowing the film, television, fashion and music industries to influence and control how we perceive ourselves and how we live and behave and what the standard of beauty should be. Christ is to be the filter for every true Believer's perception and perspective. As believers we are called to be holy not sexy! If in your private moments with your spouse, he finds you sexy then that's fine but the goal of a godly woman is holiness, as she is most beautiful in holiness and when she reflects the image of God.


To be continued...


Mocha Brown aka Koretta L. Allen is available for public speaking engagements especially pertaining to subjects of single parenthood, being single, women's empowerment through the word of God and much more. Mochababybrown@gmail.com

He Has the Last Say-So!

When I was pregnant with my son, I was feeling condemned but I also felt overwhelming change on the horizon and the uncertainty of my future concerned me. There was a song on the local gospel station by an artist by the name of Kim Rutherford called "Last Say So". I was concerned but comforted by the lyrics that said "Our God stands alone and He takes care of His own." It goes on to say "He allows things to run their course, have no fear. God is in control." I knew that my life was such a mess that something had to give and I could feel it. I just prayed that God would protect my two beautiful babies and me. Little did I know that within a matter of 10 months I would be in a homeless shelter with my two children. I was by no means where I should've been in my relationship with the Lord but I had this confidence: that no matter what God would not forsake us! Others, including family members, friends,church people had forsaken us but I had an unexplainable peace. I first became homeless in central Ohio and I figured that anytime my children and I could be without a place to call home in a city where I had so-called friends and family members (who were in actuality nothing more than relatives, I'll elaborate in a later post)that it was time for us to leave. I had spent some time in Southern California in the early 2000's and longed to return. I longed for years to return there to live and raise my children. It was such a strong desire that I actually felt like there was a magnet in my chest that was drawing me in that direction.

So on what I thought was a whim but was actually the Hand of God, I called my dad who didn't raise me and who had never been dependable or reliable on any level.
My parents divorced when I was 5 or 6 years old because my father simply decided that he didn't want to be married anymore. But he ran from paying child support to the point that for a full seven years of my childhood my mother, brothers and I didn't know if he was dead or alive! However, for some divine reason I called him because I knew he had relatives in Southern California and although I didn't know these people, I figured that if I could just get a helping hand from someone, anyone then I could get on my feet and be successful. I had no doubt about that. Well, he said he had a niece out there and he wired money for me and my kids to leave and go out to California. We got out to California and we lived with my dad's niece, my cousin for three months and then she kicked me out and we ended up in a shelter in Southern California. I could've broken down and wallowed in self-pity but I understood one thing, God had me and that I was being made. This was my "boot-camp" experience to make me a true soldier for Christ.

For too long I had made the horrible mistake of just settling. My motivations were all twisted and messed up. I spent years trying to please other people never realizing until this "boot camp" experience that people will never be pleased and that God's plan and purpose for my life is wrapped up in Him and honoring Him with my life not trying to please people especially close family members. If I had never gone through that experience I would probably be dead or crazy! Because I was leaving so far outside of God's will for my life that I could've easily been destroyed by the poor choices that I was making. I probably even deserved death and destruction, Oh but God! My Abba, in His wonderful, infinite mercy spared my life, my mind and kept my family intact through all of it! And guess what? It's not over! I'm still being made but I am so grateful for His grace and mercy that saw me through that experience of being a homeless, single mother. We have a home now, thank God! I have a car and a job that I love and two beautiful, healthy children and it is all thanks to God! It compels me to seek Him even more! I can not more effectively articulate just how much I love Him! He brought me through what was one of the lowest points of my life. I now understand that regarding everything else that concerns me, He has the very last say so! Not people, not situations, not circumstances (I know this isn't proper sentence structure but...) absolutely nothing outside of Christ determines my worth, my purpose and most of all my reality in Christ!

I'm in tears now and I feel like shouting! I just might get up and do little dance but be abundantly blessed!

Mediocrity hates greatness...be great and let the haters hate!

The Point & Purpose of Life

LOL! This is such a common musing of anybody who has ever wondered, "What in the world am I doing, here?" I fail to believe that there has ever been a person alive with the exception of Jesus, who didn't wonder why they were here on the planet earth? On this somber day in July when a man who has been hailed as an icon is being laid to rest, this is probably a question being asked in the minds of many people, "What is my purpose in life?"

Well, if no one ever told you, your primary person for even being created was to praise, worship and have intimate fellowship with God. Not religion, but an actual living relationship with The Most High God, Himself. Religion is nothing more than a poor attempt at a relationship with God while trying to at the same time excuse one's self from the responsibility of getting close to Him by implementing rituals and legalistic principles in an attempt to appease or please God. Know this, if you know nothing else in life, YOU can not PLEASE God! The Word of God says that our "righteousness is as filthy rags". Meaning that even at our most righteous by carnal standards, it is still not high enough or righteous enough in terms of God's standards. His ways are higher than our ways & His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. He sent His Son, Jesus to be the conduit by which we could have an intimate relationship and communion with Him. That's why I Corinthians 2:9-12 & 16 are basically stating that because of the sacrifice of Christ we have been given access to the mind and the Spirit of the True & Living God and this access gives us insight into the mind of Christ so that we may know and understand as much as is possible from the standpoint of these "jars of clay" God's plan & purpose for our lives.

Secondly, your purpose is to become a better person than you were the day before; the week before; the year before or even a decade ago! As you introspectively evaluate your life you must make clear, cut, & concise choices, decisions that will help you to become the better person that you need to be in order to thrive and live a fulfilled life. You should be taking an inventory of who you are and what your goals are so that you are not allowing life to just happen to you. You want to love who you are today with the realization that you have not arrived (none of us have!) and that there is work to be done. Life is a journey and a series of processes! It requires the work of trust of (get this!) trusting God! Not leaning on your own carnal knowledge and understanding. It's not easy but nothing worth having is and as simple as it sounds self-evaluation is never easy, not when you are truthfully and honestly evaluating yourself and trusting God doesn't come easy either. But resign yourself to the concept of God as some nebulous, impersonal spirit who is unattainable and/or inaccessible. You were created to be the temple of the Holy Spirit! It is all about God in you to help you utilize and more effectively become a reflection of who God is in the earth. When you allow yourself through Christ to define who you are, in other words when you discover your identity in Christ you will understand your individual purpose in this world and better adapt to your collective position as a worshiper.

Ultimately, the goal is to love God and in loving God you will love yourself and your fellow man as you should and that will in turn cause you to go beyond just living but actually thriving and flourishing!

Be abundantly blessed!